Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself. ~Dale Carnegie

So President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace prize, for which he was nominated a whole 11 days after taking office. My, but isn’t the Nobel committee perspicacious--although I originally thought President Obama must have won because he was the 10th caller, it turns out the committee was looking into the future at what Obama may do. I had no idea this was a consideration when awarding prizes, and knowing this opens up a whole new world of nominations for me. I want my Nobel Prizes, too:

Physiology or Medicine: Imaydiscover a cure for every disease known and unknown to man.
Chemistry: Imaydiscover how to turn water into oil.
Physics: Imaydiscover how to repeal the law of gravity at will.
Economics: Imaydiscover an economic system that allowseveryoneto loaf around and magically have all
the material wealth they want–no effort required.
Peace: Imaydiscover a way to turn Islam into a Religion of Peace.
Literature: Imaywrite a book about all my Nobel prizes so stirring that just touching the cover makes one

This is marvelous news, and I daresay, my updated resume is going to be intimidating. One thought does occur to me, however: If I were Mr. Obama's speechwriter I would be seriously perturbed that he received a $1.4 million prize for readingmy words from a teleprompter.

~Shyla Lefever